


Endless Fool

by orphan_account



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, F/F, Immortality, One Shot, Reincarnation, Soulmates, kara always has her powers, romantic kalex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 16:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10880268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The pain is always there, but she returns every time.





	Endless Fool

**Author's Note:**

> Imagine that Kara came to Earth a long, long time ago when she was 20, has her powers, can't age, and is not Supergirl.
> 
> Side note: This is not sorted chronologically.

“Does it always hurt after I leave?” Alex asks.

“It gets easier,” Kara lies.

 

\---

 

Once in a grocery store. 

Kara almost avoids the encounter. There’s a kid with hazel eyes sitting in the shopping cart. An attractive woman with long black hair standing next to her.

She walks over despite herself. Self-control has never been her strong suit.

“Your family is beautiful,” Kara says, sending the young boy a small smile. He returns it and reaches out for her with a tiny finger but she keeps her distance.

“Oh, thank you. This one,” Alex gestures to the boy, ruffling his dark hair, earning a giggle in return, “is a handful.”

There’s a stinging in her eyes, and a dryness in her throat, but Kara forces out a laugh. “I bet.”

 

\---

 

She can see Krypton from the small window in her pod. Watches as it tears itself apart. She can’t hear the screams but she can feel them. They are a part of her. 

Home is temporary, Kara thinks.

When she lands, she doesn’t step out at first. She stays in the enclosed space and cries. For hours, days, weeks. Until her heart withers away into an empty vessel. 

 

\---

 

It’s the middle of the night in winter. War rages on outside. Kara isn’t sure which one. They’re immeasurable. Humanity never quits. 

They are lying on the floor, a blanket draped lazily on their bodies, and she can smell their sex. The air is hot with it despite the frost on their windows. The light from the fireplace illuminates their skin and she relishes in the simplicity of it.

“Is something wrong?” Kara wonders out loud. The brunette has been silent for awhile. An itch in her touches, as if she wants to say something but is too afraid.

“Will you marry me?”

A moment passes then. Years of pain flash in front of her. Alongside that, years of happiness. Of comfort. Domesticity. She longs for it. 

“Yes.”

The rest of the night is a daze. Kara kisses every inch of skin she can touch, leaving marks of her love. Luckily, Alex doesn’t question it, only trembles underneath Kara’s passion. She can’t understand that Kara needs reminders that this will last.

 

\---

 

When she reveals her powers the fourth, eighth, _maybe twelfth time_ … people shout. They run away. She sees everything in their eyes. The fear they try so desperately to hide. The hatred over her otherness. And she knows that she has to flee. Make another life for herself again.

The orange tint in her eyes is replaced by a dull blue. 

She is about to take off when she spots the child. Unblinking and face full of wonder. Somehow, Kara forgets how to move.

“Are you an alien?”

Kara looks around for parents but they are alone. She finds her voice and tries to not sound mean. “How did you get here?”

The girl shakes her head. “I asked, are you an alien?”

“If I say yes, will you tell me how to get you home?”

A shrug. Kara groans. Children can be so difficult. “Yes, I’m an alien.” The girl nods eagerly and opens her mouth, ready to ask more, but Kara stops her. “Not part of the deal. Where do you live?”

“Rosebarry,” she says, face bowed.

The flight over is full of questions. Kara answers what she can. Yes, she is super strong. No, she doesn’t have a tail. No, she can’t see the future. Yes, she has always been able to fly. She’s not typically this careless but something about the girl intrigues her.

When they arrive in a backyard, Kara tries to take off but is held back by a tug on her shirt. She holds in an eye roll. “Yes?”

“You should meet my aunt.”

Kara rubs her forehead. “You mean the one who fell asleep and let you escape? No thanks.”

The kid starts to protest when a woman runs out of the house, her short brown hair is windswept by the time she reaches them. A deep frown is settled as she eyes Kara warily. “Who are you?”

Kara freezes again. She knows that face. Those eyes. She has seen that expression many times before. That’s why she recognizes the kid.

Family.

She considers flying away.

“I’m Kara.” She extends a hesitant hand and smiles warmly. The woman’s eyes dart between her and the child who is grinning. Pride beats in Kara’s chest—she must have made a good impression on her.

The woman studies her carefully before accepting the hand shake. 

Kara doesn’t hear the name she says. It doesn’t really matter. 

 

\---

 

Another time at a college party. 

Tired of roaming around aimlessly, she enrolls in a private institution. She’s made a promise that she’ll undoubtedly break. If they meet, she will stay away. But promises don’t account for the way her chest tightens seeing her. 

Everyone reeks of beer and Kara desperately wishes it had any sort of effect. This was supposed to make her forget.

As the night goes on, nervous eyes flicker towards her again, and again. Alex remains a cautious distance away. Kara hums, wondering if she has come to terms with her sexuality yet. 

Strangely enough, it’s Alex who makes the first move. Kara’s breath hitches when she inhales that unique scent that is pure Alex. The smell that haunts her dreams and lingers for years.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Later that night, Kara finds herself pushed against a wall. She moans happily. This is so uncharacteristic. She says so, “I didn’t ping you as a top.”

The kisses stop. Lust-filled eyes stare into hers and she knows she’s in danger. “This is my first.”

“With a woman?”

Alex nods and bites her lower lip. Kara falters a bit.

She wants to say, “let me be your last.” She settles for a, “wow, but you’re so good at this.”

 

\---

 

A tombstone in Wales. Surrounded by family members. The air is cool against her face here.

A tiny stone tablet, barely visible above the grass, near Rome. 

Denmark.

Brazil. 

California.

Deep in the rainforest. A marker on a tree. She laughs cynically through her tears at this one. It had happened so quickly that she didn’t have time to react when the animal attacked. Another example of the inevitable. 

She avoids the two tombstones hidden away in the Irish Highlands. She relives it enough in her memories.

 

\---

 

“You should be more careful,” Kara says, dabbing one of many cuts with a wet cloth. Alex looks up at her and there’s soot smudged on her cheeks, but she’s breathtakingly beautiful.

“I’m not going out there _trying_ to get hurt,” she jokes and there’s a lightness in her voice. “It just _happens._ ”

Kara chuckles and leans over, kissing the worry lines on Alex’s forehead. “You work so hard, sweetheart.”

“For us.”

The sincerity in Alex’s words is almost enough to break Kara’s heart. She should be numb to this by now. Haven’t they done this dance before?

She is pulled into a tight hug, emotion seeps through the touch, and that’s what breaks her. 

 

\---

 

Sticky buns are a _revelation._

She finishes the last one in one bite and hears laughing beside her. Turning a dark crimson, she glances sideways and covers her mouth. "What?"

"You eat like no one I've ever met and it's honestly, super adorable," Alex replies with a fond smile. 

Kara shrugs and smirks. "What can I say?" Feeling a dose of confidence from the way Alex is looking at her, she uses her super speed to pin Alex to their couch. "I'm one of a kind."

More laughter. It's melodious and fills the room and Kara grins. She decides that it's the small things that make her the happiest.

 

\---

 

Kara stops counting how many years she has spent on Earth. She counts the moments she finds her. Whether they end up together during that particular reincarnation is irrelevant. Each time she loses a piece of herself, but her heart feels fuller. 

 

\---

 

The longest gap is a painfully long hundred years. 

Her hope starts to wane so Kara travels the globe and finds comfort in France. She builds friendships—even goes so far as to have a relationship with someone. It feels like a betrayal but she reasons that it won’t last much longer.

She finds that she enjoys drawing. The Reims cathedral is her favorite thing to sketch. Kara spends early mornings in front of it with the sunlight surging through her skin. 

When Kara senses her, she accidentally pushes her pencil too far through the paper. Swallowing a thickness in her throat, she searches the crowd of people around her.

_There._

A different Alex than what she has known. Same eyes, different smile. There’s sadness underlying it. As if this one has been hurt before. 

Something clenches in Kara’s stomach. It’s a familiar ache telling her to stand up and say hi. But that _look_ gives her pause. 

She sprints far away, leaving her belongings, France, and her current life behind.

Maybe next time.

 

\---

 

Fireworks explode above and bright colors fill the night sky. It reminds her of Krypton. Kara hugs her knees to her chest, trying to hide her sobs in them. She is vaguely aware of where she is when she feels a hand on her back.

“Do you want to go home?”

She doesn’t answer. Instead, she shifts so that her head is on Alex’s shoulder. “This is home,” she mutters, and it’s the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading.


End file.
